No Fear
by JeffersonianGirl2004
Summary: Madison Clark is a widowed forty something year old school counsellor, Travis Manawa is a divorced forty something year old English teacher. They're both lonely, struggling, single parents on the search for love and belonging in the world. Travis/Maddie - AU - Very Strong T, probably become M.


_AN: I don't own Fear the Walking Dead or any if the sweet little babies in it._

 _This is a walker free AU complete with happiness, passion and emotional struggles but no flesh eating zombies, if that's what you want, go watch the TV show._

 _Recently I've gotten hooked on Fear the Walking Dead and rewatched the series mostly because Maddie is my cinnamon roll and Kim Dickens is an amazing actress._

 _There is like no Maddie/Travis on this website so this is filled with it. Nick is twelve, Alicia and Chris are both ten._

 _I hope you enjoy and I'd love a review._

* * *

Chapter 1: Cheap Scotch and Shattered Glass

Madison Clark exhaled, downed a third glass of Scotch and ran a pair of fingers through her mass of dyed blonde waves. She stared distantly out of the kitchen window, lost in her thoughts. How could he have done it? She constantly wondered. How could he just leave her? Leave the children? He might have been miserable but he could have talked to her about it. She was a damn counsellor for God's sake, he didn't need to take such a drastic step so quickly.

She tipped the bottle and watched as the amber liquid streamed into the glass. As it filled she shook her head. Who was she kidding? He'd been depressed for as long as she could remember, probably since before they even met. She thought that children would change him, that they would bring him the same joy that they brought her. She knew that he loved them, there was no denying that, but he was a damaged and misguided man and she couldn't change that. She couldn't save him, she had to come to terms with that. Nothing she could have done would have saved him.

Why couldn't he have done it quietly? Overdosed on pills maybe, but no, he had to go out with a bang. She remembered getting the call, she remembered learning what he had did. He had driven into oncoming traffic, he had slammed his foot down on the accelarator and looked death right in the eyes.

It may have been a quick and easy death for him but it was a lasting burden glued to her shoulders. Her eyes had scanned over the newspaper that very next day to see the names of the victims of the crash. Plenty of people were injured and a little girl died. She was only four and she was gone before she even got a chance to start living. She blamed herself for that child's death, she wished that she could have done something.

She gulped down the last of the Scotch in her glass before she turned to the bottle and began to drink straight from it. She was good at handling her alcohol, and she barely got drunk but tonight she didn't care. She was going to drown her sorrows in the bottle, she was finally going to feel nothing and she didn't give a shit. She was hurting and she needed an escape.

X-X-X-X

"Mom, mom, mom, are you okay?" A tiny hand made its way to Maddie's shoulder.

The blonde woman's eyelids flickered open and she looked up at the ten year old girl standing beside her. As it turned out she had drifted off on the bench. The Scotch bottle was empty and her head was pounding. She didn't like her little girl seeing her like this.

Madison stood up and forced a smile, "I'm fine, I must have just fallen asleep."

The mother sensed a hint of concern in her child's eyes but she turned away and made her way down the hall toward her bedroom.

She entered her ensuite and stripped out of yesterday's clothes before she turned on the faucet. She stepped swiftly into the small cubicle and felt the warm water flow against her naked body. Showers were a wonderful relief from her pain, ever since he'd left she'd lasted longer and longer within the mist and water.

After what had to have been at least half an hour she finally popped the door open and exited her silent haven. She pulled a towel around her form and stepped back into the bedroom. The silent, empty bedroom. There had been no joy in that bedroom for as long as she could remember. There had been no passion, no love. She slept alone every night and sometimes she missed the warmth of a man's body against her.

She popped a painkiller to try and silence the throbbing in her head. She seriously regretted the Scotch but she knew if she went back to last night she would have done it again.

School was due to start in an hour and she still needed to get changed, feed both the children and get the car loaded before she got to work. She worked as a guidance counsellor at the local high school and in her job she supported adolescences going through a myriad of problems. She had felt that she was successful when it had come to her job prior to the accident but lately she had been doubting her skills. If she couldn't even save her husband how could she be expected to save strangers?

The coffee machine whirred to life and Maddie placed a mug under the nozzle. She watched as it filled with hot brown liquid and leaned back against the bench.

"Mom, can I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" Maddie's twelve year old son, Nick, asked as he bounded into the kitchen.

"Yeah baby, but you must go grab your sister for me first."

Nick had been hit the hardest out of her two children by his dad's death. He had grown distant and depressed but lately he seemed to slowly be getting better and she was thankful for that.

Both of the children hurried into the room and sat down at the table across from their mother. Madison slid two plates filled with sandwiches toward Alicia and Nick. "Okay you two anythin' excitin' goin' down at school today?"

Nick shrugged and Alicia nodded. "Yeah we're going to the Zoo today!"

Damn the Zoo excursion, Maddie had completely forgotten. She hurried away from her daughter and began to sift through a pile of bills and papers in search of the form. She came close to attributing the forgotten permission slip to the stress of single parenthood but remembered first that she had practically been a single parent her children's entire lives.

Success. She came across a now crumpled and somewhat stained form and hurriedly signed her name. It then suddenly dawned on her, she was lonely and she was struggling to cope.

X-X-X-X

"Have an awesome day you two, Alicia have fun at the Zoo and Nick say hello to your friends for me." The blonde waved to her children from the driver's seat of her car. She watched as they made their way up the steps and into the school. She loved them both so much that it was indescribable and all she wanted was for them to be happy. They needed the love that she never got as a child, and she had brought them into the world solely to give it to them.

Once they were both out of sight she pulled away from the curb and began to drive toward the high school. Nick would be there next year, that was sort of crazy just to think about. It only seemed like yesterday that he was a tiny baby bundled up against her. He was entering his rebellious years now. His hair fell in unkempt waves down to his shoulders and he spent more time than she would like locked away in his room playing video games. It was his way of grieving, she didn't even need any training in school counselling to know that. She needed to let him mourn his dad in the same way that he had let her mourn her husband.

Maddie's response to Stephen's death had been more anger than anything else. Of course she'd been sad, of course she had cried, but honestly she was furious at him for abandoning his two children. He could have left her, but he had no right to cause two innocent babies that much pain. She had lied to them, had told them that it was an accident, didn't admit that the three of them weren't enough for daddy to keep on wanting to live. He was a coward, he was a bloody coward, and she had no respect for cowards.

The day after he died bouquets of flowers had begun appearing at her house and in her office and the constant sympathy of complete strangers was driving her over the edge. She had thrown out the flowers, she didn't want them there. She had also dumped all of his clothes and personal belongings in a donation bin at the local second hand store. She was furious at him and all her respect was gone, and the worst part was that she honestly blamed herself.

X-X-X-X

As she entered the school her thoughts began to drift to the students that she had organised to see that day. There was Cathy, whose parents had just divorced, anorexic Jenny and Tom, a boy who was suicidal. She loved helping the children but lately it seemed to be becoming harder and harder. She couldn't seem to manage to keep on top of their problems and her own and the depression that filled her office was already making her declining mental state worse.

High school students bustled past her all fixated on topics that seemed to relate back to the Prom. The Prom was coming up and all of the seniors were eager to get their dates organised. Maddie had had three pairs of girls come into her office in just the past week to tell her that they were both fighting over the same boy. She had been asked by the Principal to help chaperone, which she presumed meant making sure no one spiked the punch and no students got to third base in the darkened corners. She'd arranged Ofelia Salazar, a twenty something year old family friend, to look after Nick and Alicia on the night.

"Hey Maddie!" A loud, male voice shook her out of her thoughts and she peered just across the hall to find the source of the greeting.

Travis Manawa was waving at her eagerly with a large smile on his face. Even Maddie must admit that he looked rather handsome dressed in a checked button down short sleeved shirt with blue jeans. His short black hair was trimmed neatly and suited his light brown skin. His grandfather was from New Zealand and he had inherited his looks from there.

"Hi!" The blonde waved back and felt a smile fill her face. She doubted it was discernible to anyone else but she knew that there was something different about this smile. It wasn't fake or forced and that was seriously rare for herself these days.

"How are you going? And how are your kids?" Travis approached her, he was still smiling.

"I'm fine and so are the kids, Alicia has an excursion to the Zoo today."

"Well I hope she has fun," he paused, ready to walk away, but turned back around. "And Maddie if you need anyone to talk with feel free to stop by my classroom."

"Okay, thanks!"

She turned away, ready to head toward her office when she felt her cheeks flush red. This was ridiculous, she was in her mid forties, she was too old to be developing a school girl crush on a fellow teacher.

* * *

 _AN: I hope you enjoyed and the next chapter will be out soon! Please review!_


End file.
